Ok in my session with my fav Doc today and he pulled this line about not having psychotic episodes on my meds and not feeling my anger (note I feel that I just don’t throw things ‘cause they’ll keep me here longer if I do) And them implied that at a rate like this I could be outa here in ‘No Time’ like 10 Yrs. Fucking Forever I think. Oh and in that instant I had a brilliant feeling, almost a vision. I know its not real but it realy braught my heart up. – In That Very office, just me and him and the security camera’s watching helplessly. I had him pinned to the floor, my knee on his chest, a gun, not a pistol but a real gun, pitched on my sholder pushing into his throught, my finger playing the trigger enhouing his fear. His body heated up, his struggled breath changed, I could feel it through the gun, and the fear in his eyes, he was so scared of death, (I don’t even think he knows why he fears it.) that I would kill him, his heart was racing so fast and so hard I could feel it against my knee. I couldn’t give him time to understand, so I pulled the trigger, warm blood leaked from his throught and he gurgled choking on it as he tried to breath, mortally wounded ... and dieing slowly ... under me ...
-Edward G’F
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